i hate having regrets. and i think that's the worst part about this whole thing. that at the back of my mind, i can't help but feel that this is one huge shouldn't-have-been. and i can't accept that. after all the shit i've put up with, after all the crying and the craziness, i can't accept that it all boils down to this? please. there's got to be more. there has to be. :(
i've always been a good girl. and i'm not bragging, or trying to be conceited. i'm just saying it as it is. i've always been. then i met a guy. and for the first time in my life, i got really crazy. and maybe i spiralled my way into a blackhole. and now i'm stuck.
i regret having to hurt so many people.
i regret making so many unthought-of decisions.
i regret that i broke up with my long-term boyfriend.
i regret being impulsive .
i regret that i felt this much for someone who i'm not sure is even worth it.
i regret losing my friends.
i regret being stupid.
i don't think there's really any happiness for me. chronic dissatisfaction? maybe. or maybe happiness is just too far-fetched for me.
Posted at 02:33 am by cali
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